You do not know where to start after the proposal…
You do not know when to start…
You are lost on how to start the planning…

I was just as lost too! So, for now, I’m halfway done/there to my wedding day…
And this is the best I can share with all of you!

Firstly, you gotta wait till after the day he proposes.

Proposal means: An offer of marriage


It is when the man will go on ‘one-knee’ and do his proposal with a diamond ring (proposal ring) to the woman. If she accepts it, meaning, she is ready for marriage.
It is usually a one big diamond on the ring which is known as solitaire. Do a research on the Cut, Clarity, Colour, Carat.

The most popular question ever:
How are you sure he/she is the one for you?

- Both of you had make long term plans together.
- Both of you are on the right communication frequency.
- You start saving every cent so to give her a good wedding.
- You start looking at bridal magazine and think about walking down the aisle with him.
- You pass by jewelry shop and start to think which ring fits her.
- You consider her/his family as your own.
- You can accept each other flaws.
- You want her to be the mother of your children.
- You want to experience life with her/him.
- You have been thinking about the wedding scene with him.

And many more points which only you will know the reason and answer.

A note to the men: This is a moment where you should really make your lady happy and make sure it is memorable. Take really good planning on where and when you should pop the question. The tricky part would be choosing the diamond ring. Think of ways on how to get her ring size. Or not you have to take the risk. Most likely, you could bring your lady to do the resize (ask the shop) after the proposal. Best is to secretly take a ring from her jewelry box and trace the inner part of the ring on a piece of paper.

A note to the women: This is a few seconds moment and you will remember for life. It is also a moment where your man will blush. Enjoy the love!

Normally, the good friends of the bride and groom will throw an engagement party for the couple. But this is not practice in our culture. Ours will be known as the Registry of Marriages.

After accepting the guy’s proposal, the couple would decide when to get ‘officially engaged’.

I would urge the couple to go and start their lovenest search instead. Start to ballot for new BTO of your choice as it would normally take about 3 years upon completion.

When you are ready to settle down, get ready to be busy!

Decide whether to hold your ROM at its ROM office or a venue outside. If you picked on a hot date to do at the ROM office, make sure you take note on the filing date via the internet.

If you decide on an outside venue, then you have to source for a place that both of you like and go through your budget to decide on the cost like rental and menu. Hot date for a hot venue is best to book early.

After all are done, be prepared for the big day. This actual day (AD) is usually followed up with the tradition Chinese culture.

1. Set a date for your wedding. Normally, we will go to a fengshui master to get him to ‘calculate’ the date. Get a few more alternative dates just in case your venue is not available. You have to provide him your date of birth, time of birth, your parents date of birth.



2. Set your budget.

3. Book your venue. This could be very frustrating. The venues with the hot dates (suitable for marriage) are normally being book up to 2 years in advance. Go to wedding shows to get better deals for your banquet package. Do remember that the banquet cost per table might go up every calendar year.

4. Book your photographer and videographer as you get to come across with the works that you like. As you already have your wedding date and confirmed your venue, might as well book this 2 most important person of your AD whom will capture your precious moment. But do not rush into it, make sure you’re comfortable with them and their work.

5. Look for your bridal shop (BS). This is another big decision to make and you wouldn’t want anything to go wrong, like the shop that closed down just before your AD. Take really good effort and spent lots of time to find a good bridal shop which you trust their service, their gown, their photography skill, their makeup skill, their reviews and the package deal.

Since it is still a long way to go before your AD, I would say you have to really go around everywhere to look at every other couples album (not the models portfolio) and spend a good time to read all the reviews about them before signing the package. Go through the list which they are going to throw in for you. When you finally decided on that BS, work on your bargaining skill; get as much things as you can before you decided to make the payment.

6. By now, all your close friends should know your AD date and you would have tell them to be your maid of honor, jiemeis, bestman, brothers (xiong di).

7. If you are holding your ROM on your AD, remember to confirm your Justice of Peace for your date.

After all these are done, you can relax a bit till 6 month before the AD.

6 more months to go…

- Shop for your wedding shoes, accessories and groom’s attire
- Purchase wedding bands
- Go for your pre-wedding portfolio shoot
- Compile your guestlist
- Decide on your florist and book your makeup artist if your BS doesn’t include

4 to 5 months to go…

- Shop for your flowergirls dresses and pageboys suits
- Select and finalise your wedding photos, album and design

3 months to go…
- Organise your AD programme
- Inform you guests
- Call your soleminser and do e-filing. (for those who ROM on AD)
- Arrange for ‘ti-qing’ session for both parents
- ‘ti-qing’ session will involve discussion such as tables to give to the bride’s side and ‘guo-da-li’ (GDL) items (the Chinese custom of the groom’s family to give to the bride’s family with dowry and gifts)
- Oh, remember to get your fengshui master to ‘calculate’ for your GDL and an-chuang date and time

2 months to go…
- Collect all your wedding photos, album
- Go for food-tasting and confirm menu, collect invitation cards
- Finalise all flowers, themes, music, montage, car arrangements
- Write your speeches
- Buy all the items for GDL and an-chuang
- Print invitation inserts
- Source for wines
- Confirm caterer

1 month to go…
- Chase for late invitation replies and finalise gust list
- Schedule for jiemeis and xiongdis meeting. Assign all duties.
- Finalise the speeches
- GDL
- Mail out all invitations. (which have to be done after GDL)
- Have final gown fitting and accessories
- Trial makeup session

2 weeks to go…
- Finalise headcount and seating arrangements
- Prepare all hongbaos

1 week to go…
- Pick up gown and suit
- Single party
- An-chuang
- Go for spa

1 day to go…
- Have manicure and pedicure
- Get car deco done
- Collect bouquet

Actual Day…
ENJOY!

It’s not an easy task to do. Many people will come back to you telling you such things as: Confirm the date when it is nearer. End up, you will get replies from them that they are going for a holiday trip at your AD etc. The most headache part is the guestlist. It is ever changing even to the day of your AD! So please, if your friends invite you to their wedding, mark and block that day straight from your calendar! You will get to experience the pain when it is your turn!

GDL items is another list which you have to be sure about. Check out both yours and your partner’s dialet to know what have to be given and to be done. Like the teochew brides will get the four-gold (si-dian-jin) while the hokkiens will get the bangles. And the pin jin is the amount (like $2888, $3888) which the guy’s parents will give to the girl’s parents. And the bride's family will have to prepare dowry for the girl.

An-chuang have to be done with a new bedframe, new mattress and new bedsheets with some auspicious items on the bed and nobody is allow to be one the bed till the wedding is over.

And be prepared to fork out a lot of money out for this once a lifetime. Like the solitaire, wedding bands and the BS package could be easily amount to $10k and the sum might not had included your AD photographer, videographer, makeup artist, hongbaos for soleminser, jiemeis, xiongdis, flowergirls, pageboys, gatecrashing etc. And for banquet, the tables given to the girl’s side are also part of the gesture that the male side has to give. Which mean, the hongbaos are all for the bride’s parents to keep.

Don’t forget to give your jiemeis and xiongdis a treat before or after the wedding. Normally, they’re the best friends of yours. Or the treat for the last single nightout or your buddies will give that as a treat to you.

Planning the whole wedding thing could be very stressful and frustrating. Some couples broke off during the planning period to find that they could not compromise each other. It is the crucial part to get the two of them together. As friends, we have to give the best support. It is definitely not easy to do the planning and executing it. I’m really thankful for my dearest to keep me so excited to my big day. They’re often the ones to throw in ideas and offer to do a big part of the process. They make me so look forward to my day.

Keep a wedding journal to let you keep track of your progress and to thank all your wonderful friends.

http://melvinandceline.weddingannouncer.com/

Throughout all these period, you will have this site as your bestfriend too - where you will get all the reviews from BS to banquet to wedding ideas to ROM details.

http://www.singaporebrides.com/

Finally, is the wedding celebration a complete now?

No. It is only the beginning of a marriage.

What happens at the end of the aisle?